Year of Yes

Year of Yes is a 2015 self-help novel by American author and actress Shonda Rhimes. Semi-autobiographical, it serves as Rhimes’ retrospective on her development as an individual from being introverted to being an outspoken public figure. One of the main ways in which Rhimes willed this transformation into being was, according to her, to simply say “yes” whenever she was asked a question for which an affirmative response invited uncertainty or risk. Rhimes’ main argument is that by saying “yes,” individuals can gain certain extroverted traits necessary that help form self-love. The novel reached a widespread audience because of Rhimes’ prominence as an actor and minority in American television.

Rhimes begins her book by describing her past as a public figure. Famous at the time of writing for her public advocacy as well as her acting, she nevertheless states that she is, at heart, an introvert. She recalls a time when she did little to counter her social orientation, fearing her public roles as a feminist and minority advocate, to the point where she nearly buckled under the pressure to be extroverted.

One night in 2013, a friend commented that she never agrees to anything. Though initially offended, she came to see this as true. Rhimes subsequently resolved to say “yes” to everything for an entire year. She states that the remainder of her book is drawn from her experiences performing this social experiment. Rhimes separates her insight into three main lessons. The first is that it is sometimes necessary to buckle to social pressure to change, rather than to wait for the motivation to come from within. The initial comment that offended but moved her set the gears of change moving, culminating when her publicist later accepted an invitation to an important dinner party on her behalf. Rhimes came to realize that this external force was necessary to push her outside her comfort zone.



Rhimes’ second lesson is that no one exists in a privileged state of total knowledge about what the outcomes of a given decision will be. She says that one of her most valuable take-aways in this line of thought is that it is important to limit the number of questions one asks before taking a leap. Paradoxically, it is often impossible to know whether something will be enjoyable, or even doable, without first going through an extended process of trial and error. She likens this period to her year of saying “yes.” She also places a taboo on endless deliberation and complaining, arguing that these simply impede personal growth. After the period of trial and error comes to a close, she recommends that one looks back and takes stock of what he or she has learned. Even introverts, in her opinion, will likely realize that taking social risks were not as bad as they expected.

Rhimes’ third and final lesson is to take compliments in stride and to internalize them rather than repress or deny them out of humility. Before Rhimes’ year of “yes,” she downplayed compliments, believing that modesty was key to dealing with fame and fortune. She recalls a moment when President Clinton complimented her on the Ellen show, after which her assistant gave her a t-shirt emblazoned with the phrase, “Bill Clinton loves ANYTHING I do.” Though usually compliment-averse, she decided to wear the shirt often and bask in the praise. The grateful acceptance of positive comments, she came to discover, is key to developing a happy and stable identity.

Rhimes concludes her book by arguing that it is important, above all, to love oneself. Whether introverted or extroverted, the measure of one’s happiness is how deeply one responds to his or her inborn conditions. Thus, while the “Year of Yes” worked for Rhimes to come to terms with herself, she suggests that every individual can devise a unique solution to accomplish the same goals.