Chapter 8 begins with an anecdote about Pipher’s niece, who called Pipher when she was lost in Oklahoma on her way to Nebraska. This example demonstrates a need to know where one currently is to know one’s future path, a skill the chapter defines as self-awareness. Older women’s lives change quickly, so they need to know where they are by having a strong sense of their identity and needs. This means heeding their inner voice and ignoring behaviors like denial that block true understanding, as well as ignoring societal ideas about their roles. Pipher notes that those who are self-aware can differentiate between societal ideas and their own identity.

She outlines various ways older women can tackle life challenges, such as through therapy, meditation, and talking to friends. These activities increase self-understanding, helping one tune into their inner voice regarding what is important in life. Older women must know what they want and need, especially their need for self-care, because they often put themselves last and sacrifice their own needs. They must think before they do this, value their own time, and create what Pipher calls “position statements” that delineate their boundaries. They must learn how to say “no,” a skill most women are not taught, and use “yes” to assert their needs, which requires knowing what these needs are.