“Reading was my first addiction.”

Hardin is keenly aware of how she became an addict. She explains in the memoir’s opening that reading provided the escapism she craved. Before she began using drugs, this transformed into a passion for writing. When she escalated to using drugs, Hardin lost sight of her original passions of reading and writing.

“As a kid, spontaneous combustion didn’t scare me—I was fascinated by the possibility. It gave me hope.”

Hardin characterizes her childhood as one of trauma, abuse, and neglect. Two of her siblings died young, her mother was absent, and her father left. Hardin found solace in reading and soon encountered the concept of spontaneous combustion, which felt like a way out.

“At its core, addiction is an extreme form of self-obsession. We addicts are pathologically self-absorbed, self-serving, selfish and all the other self- words.”

Hardin’s memoir does not shy away from showing her selfish behavior and ideas while struggling with her addiction. Concern for others often transforms into concern for herself, and she co-opts a large amount of others’ time and energy. As she gains control over her addiction, she gains humility and the ability to put others’ needs first, which is part of her nature as a loving mother and compassionate person.