The American Way of Death Revisited

In The American Way of Death Revisited, Mitford sheds light on an industry that might seem somewhat macabre to the everyday layman.  Undoubtedly, there is a degree of ambiguity around the subject of death, funerals and the costs involved in laying a loved one to rest.  Mitford’s book was originally published in 1963, with the author making extensive revisions before her death in 1996. In it, she attempts to draw her reader’s attention to what one publication identifies as “one of the most expensive purchases the average American will make after a house and an automobile.”  It is no surprise that funeral costs can skyrocket into the tens of thousands of dollars. The author’s goal, however, is to expose the way some undertakers prey on the grief of their patrons (sprinkling in a bit of fear and guilt for good measure) in the hopes of making the death of a loved one as lucrative for the funeral home as possible. Additionally, Mitford’s book provides a critical examination of some of the practices society has been conditioned to believe are beneficial not only for the grieving process of the bereaved, but also for society as a whole.

It has long been believed that an open casket funeral is an effective way of helping loved ones mourn. Likewise, the embalming process ensures public health and safety.  Mitford reveals that these common practices often have exorbitant fees attached and that the remittance of said fees is often an indicator – in the realm of public opinion at least – of the degree of love the family has for the recently departed. In short, the more money you spend, the more love you had for the deceased.  There has been a greater outcry of late for simpler, more economic funeral options. Too often, families are left shouldering the burden of outrageous costs that seem to resemble an a la carte system, instead of a pricing structure that provides the most cost-effective means for ensuring a grieving family’s wishes are met.

In addition to the wealth of information provided in the original 1963 publication, the author’s revisions include updated statistical information on the costs involved in routine auxiliary services such as cremation. The revised version of the book also provides relevant information on the advancement of laws that protect those tasked with the unfortunate job of caring for the dead. Mitford’s analysis suggests that more improvements are needed. One example is the now ubiquitous presence of national funeral conglomerates.  Gone are the days where families can rely solely on local-owned funeral establishments with a vested interest in the community they serve. As a result, these families are left with few choices. The lack of options all but forces loved ones to deal with national conglomerates who are often more concerned with their bottom line than providing quality service at a fair price.



One of the prevalent themes throughout the book concerns the funeral industry’s obsession with making a profit instead of alleviating grief.  In the 1990s, funeral costs could skyrocket to as high as $10,000, leaving the bereaved to shoulder the burden of paying for these exorbitant expenses in the event the deceased did not have adequate life insurance. Often, funeral services are bundled into packages that contain superfluous add-ons which increase the price.  These add-ons do not always speak to a family’s individual needs. Instead, funeral directors present an array of options akin to what one writer describes as a “souvenir shop of the dead.”  Since funerals are designed to commemorate the dead, funeral officials roll out the red carpet so to speak, to the tune of an ever-increasing price tag.

Mitford speculates that the extravagant costs of funerals are analogous to the costs of living and in many cases, the family is just as eager to provide an extravagant appearance for the dead as funeral directors are in providing it. Caskets are ornate, lined with expensive fabrics and flashy trimmings. Tombstones come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, with some opting for obscenely ostentatious vaults designed more for heads of state and public figures than the average layman. Additionally, the body of the deceased is often made up to give it as life-like an appearance as possible.

Lastly, American culture is often obsessed with providing an elaborate funeral service. There is a common ideology in modern culture that denies the idea of death. As such, the ornate manner of bidding farewell to the dead often mimics the fashionable way the deceased may have approached life.  Mitford’s analysis adds a layer of humor to a subject shrouded in mystery, if not macabre. And, the often-competitive nature of these proceedings is not lost on the author. Her anecdote of “keeping up with the Joneses to the end” is an apt metaphor of the lengths some will take to give their loved one an elaborate send-off.



The consolidation of mom-and-pop funeral service establishments, giving way to international conglomerates like Service Corporation International, have fed society’s obsession with ever increasingly elaborate ways of paying homage to the dead. Mitford herself passed away in 1996, leaving final revisions to the book unfinished. They were completed by her husband, Robert Treuhaft. As a last request (and perhaps a final middle finger to the funeral industry), Mitford requested that her funeral bill is sent to the CEO of one of the mega-conglomerates she sites in her book.  The bill was never paid.