Stoner and Spaz

Stoner & Spaz (2002), a young adult novel by American author Ronald Koertge, follows Los Angeles high-schooler Ben Bancroft, whose cerebral palsy makes him feel like a social outcast, as he falls in love with fellow high-schooler and cocaine addict Colleen Minou. Critics praised the realism of the novel and its touching romantic plot: “Perhaps not since Harold and Maude has there been such a likable unlikely romance” (Publishers’ Weekly). Koertge published a sequel, Now Playing: Stoner & Spaz II, in 2011.

The novel opens as 16-year-old Ben makes his way to the Rialto Theatre. It’s the only place where he feels okay: "Since I've been pretty much treading water all day, the marquee of the Rialto Theatre looks like the prow of a ship coming to save me.” Ben has cerebral palsy, which affects one side of his body. Extremely self-conscious about his appearance, he feels like a social outcast. Even most adults patronize him. He spends his time sitting in the dark theatre, enjoying re-runs of his favorite movies. His narrative voice is thick with movie references.

At the theater, he bumps into a girl from school, Colleen Minou, whose nickname is “Stoner” because she is always high in class. Colleen invites him to come and get high with her in the alley behind the theater. Ben is excited by the invitation (Colleen looks like Helena Bonham Carter’s character “in Fight Club…pretty in an edgy, ruined way”) but he refuses: “No way am I gimping down the aisle during Monster Week while the lights are still on. People will think I’m part of the show.”



When she returns, she unselfconsciously touches Ben, and “it’s like being plugged into a wall socket. Not that it’s some big horndog charge, either. I don’t mean that. It’s the way she’s talking to me. To me. I know what sex is. Guys in the hall talk about it.”

Unfortunately, Colleen has a boyfriend, Ed. The school’s drug dealer, he supplies Colleen with her cocaine and weed. Ben jealously watches Ed work the schoolyard: “Each clique has a different handshake, and Ed knows them all. He knows which girl's hand to grab and rub over his shaved head, which brother to joke with, which guy's Pepsi to snatch and take a sip of, which one to lean into and whisper.”

Ben and Colleen grow close as friends. Colleen asks academically talented Ben to write a paper for her. When he hesitates, she offers, “I’ll show you my tits.”



New neighbors move in next door to Ben, giving him the idea of making a documentary film. The concept he comes up with is “High School Confidential,” a series of interviews about the inner lives of high schoolers. For example, he interviews a gay classmate:

“'Do you ever stand in front of the mirror and wish you were different?'

“'Only every day.'



“'Do you want to be not gay?'

“'No, I want to be better looking.'”

As Ben and Colleen grow closer, he learns more about her life. She tells him that her mother’s boyfriend attempted to molest her and that her mom didn’t believe it when Colleen told her. Colleen says she hates her mother, but she also admits to feeling very little, besides the rush of cocaine highs.



Her addiction is worsening. One day, Ben’s beloved Grandma picks him up and gives Colleen a lift. En route, she throws up out the window. When she is gone, Grandma asks Ben what he sees in her: “‘Grandma, in the last three years, except for you, she’s the only person who actually touched me, actually put her hands on me.’ I shake my stunted arm at her. ‘She touched this, she touched my stupid leg. It was like it didn’t matter.’”

Ben tries to help Colleen sober up with some success. When Ben presents her with the finished paper, they have sex—Ben’s first time—and Ben feels that they are on the brink of starting a relationship. The next day in school, Colleen sits with Ben at lunch.

That same evening, however, Ben calls Colleen only to learn that she is with Ed. She has relapsed, so high she can’t feel her body.



Ben goes round to Ed’s house to confront him. Ed laughs him off, telling him he can have Colleen if he wants. Ben carries her home.

He helps her to clean up again, but he can’t help with the psychological pain underlying her addiction. She tells Ben that she doesn’t like the “new me.” Gradually, Colleen begins smoking weed again.

One day, Ben catches Colleen getting into the car of an old stoner friend. Colleen tells Ben that she can’t live without drugs anymore. She drives away. Ben is deeply hurt, but he recognizes that Colleen’s decision is not ultimately about him.