Saffron Dreams

The second novel from Pakistani-American author Shaila M. Abdullah, Saffron Dreams (2009) is the story of a woman whose life is profoundly shaken after her husband’s tragic death in the World Trade Center attacks of 9/11. As she tries to let go of her anger and grief, become a mother to a child with special needs, and learn how to hold on to her Muslim traditions in the face of newfound hostility, the novel’s protagonist demonstrates the small ups and downs of real, lived-in experience. The novel is written in the first person, as the memoir of a woman looking back at the darkest period of her life, tracing her recovered faith and self-confidence.

Although the novel features flashbacks interspersed with present-day narration, this summary will order the events of the book chronologically.

Arissa Illahi grows up in a wealthy, middle-class family in Karachi, Pakistan. After she is born, her mother leaves the family and remarries. Because her mother is emotionally distant from her life, Arissa is raised by her loving father. Her father is supportive of her talents and desires, helping her while she gets her career as an artist off the ground.



Eventually, her father sets up an arranged marriage for her – the match is an excellent one. Arissa is paired with Faizan, a young man whom she had already met and liked when visiting relatives in New York City. Though Faizan and Arissa are happy together, they are slightly weighed down by a bad omen given to them by a seer whose prediction that the young man will dance with fire makes them have nightmares about flames. Still, after a while, they decide to immigrate to America, where their life seems happy and full of promise. Arissa continues as an artist, while Faizan works as a cook in a restaurant, writing a novel during his free time. Two years after their wedding, they are overjoyed to learn that Arissa is pregnant and they will soon become parents.

Unfortunately, their life together is destroyed when terrorists crash planes into the buildings of the World Trade Center in Manhattan on the morning of September 11, 2001. Faizan, whose restaurant is in the Trade Center, dies in the attack.

Arissa is completely devastated by the loss of her beloved husband and the knowledge that she will have to raise their baby without him. Then, she is hit with another difficult piece of news: at a prenatal screening, her unborn child is diagnosed with Charge syndrome, a disorder that affects many areas of the body, meaning the baby will have multiple disabilities and possibly be at risk of dying in childhood. At this point, Arissa struggles with her faith in God – why would something like this happen to her all at once?



As she thinks about her Muslim identity, she can’t help but be buffeted by the way strangers now look at her when she goes outside in her hijab. After the attacks, it becomes dangerous and unpleasant to be visibly marked as a Muslim person, even though she feels absolutely no connection or kinship with the monsters that killed all those people – including her husband. One day, a group of skinheads attacks her on the subway.

In the midst of her grief, Arissa discovers the manuscript of the aptly titled Soul Searcher, the unfinished novel Faizan had been working on before he died. Fueled by a newfound sense of purpose, she decides that from now on, her reason for moving through life and getting over her profound sense of loss will be raising her child and finishing Faizan’s work. This is what will enable her to find her own soul again – as the novel promises. Deciding to remain in the U.S. rather than go back to Pakistan, Arissa stops wearing her hijab, adapting to the country that is her new home.

As her pregnancy progresses, Arissa reaches out to her in-laws, who are still living in Pakistan. They move to the U.S. to be with her and to help her after the birth of her son Raian. As they build their strong bond, uniting around the needs of this newborn, Arissa and Faizan’s parents – especially her mother-in-law – grow the kind of close and loving relationship that she never had with her own mother.



Faizan’s parents live with Arissa for six years, helping in the day-to-day care of Raian. Her ups and downs as a parent are at once overwhelming, and also universal – as exemplified when Raian is accidentally hurt at his special-needs school. As Arissa fumes after picking him up, considering whether she needs to find a different place for him to learn, Raian is excited – he doesn’t care about the injury, he cares that his class was studying Beethoven, who was deaf just like Raian is. Does Beethoven’s existence mean that Raian could also grow up to be a musician? Just like that, Arissa’s anger at the school dissipates as she tells Raian that he can be anything he wants.

The novel ends without tying up loose ends or presenting us with an overly rosy picture of Arissa’s ongoing life. She has given up her hijab but maintains her religion, traditions, and culture. She has built an enduring connection with her in-laws, but they eventually return to Pakistan. And though she loves the city where she and Faizan first made their home, she decides to move to a new city for a job prospect that will ensure a better life for her and Raian.