Rafe, the narrator and main character, begins by talking about riding in the back seat of a police car with his sister Georgia and his unspeaking friend Leo, short for Leonardo.

Rafe is just starting the sixth grade at Hills Village Middle School (HVMS). He describes himself as a difficult person to understand. He is very untrusting. Leo is his only friend, the only person whom he trusts. He introduces Mrs. Ida Stricker, the vice principal, who is in charge of everything, especially discipline. He introduces Mrs. Ruthless Donatello, whom he calls the Dragon Lady, his English teacher. He introduces his fourth-grade sister, Georgia, a super brat who looks like his mother, Jules, must have looked when she was that age. Rafe says he has quite a story to tell.

After saying he believes that HVMS was originally built during revolutionary times and used as a prison for the Pilgrims, he explains that, as a sixth-grader, he is one of the youngest students. Rafe goes to his first-period class and tries to sit at the back of the room. He encounters a boy named Miller, whom he calls Miller the Killer, who refuses to let him sit in any chair.