Sandberg notes that successful women often resist talking about gender, because they want to be judged solely on their accomplishments. Unfortunately, Sandberg says, "The world has a way of reminding women that they are women, and girls that they are girls" (140).Like many women, Sandberg hesitated for many years to call herself a feminist, in part because of the negative connotations of the word, and in part because Sandberg and her peers "truly, if naively, believed that the world did not need feminists anymore" (142). Sandberg describes how, on entering the workforce, she felt that she could tackle any lingering inequality singlehandedly: "I figured if sexism still existed, I would just prove it wrong. I would do my job and do it well" (142).

Since then, however, Sandberg has come to see this approach as a mistake. In practice, "proving sexism wrong" often means conforming to traditionally-masculine patterns of behavior, even when those behaviors might make some women uncomfortable. Furthermore, professional women's efforts to blend in tend to sweep issues of systemic system further under the rug:

I started seeing female friends and colleagues drop out of the workforce. Some left by choice. Others left out of frustration, pushed out the door by companies that did not allow flexibility and welcomed home by partners who weren't doing their share of the housework and child rearing…even though the thought still scared me, I decided it was time to stop putting my head down and to start speaking out(144).