“Anyone who watches even the slightest amount of TV is familiar with the scene: An agent knocks on the door of some seemingly ordinary home or office.”

Sedaris sets up the crime/spy thriller setting in the essay’s very first sentence. Here, he foreshadows the conflict between David and Agent Samson; she’ll be the adult antagonist to his child protagonist. This spy thriller dialogue and diction highlight the tension in a way familiar to anyone who watches TV or reads spy thrillers.

“She walked beside me and asked what appeared to be an innocent and unrelated question: ‘So, which do you like better, State or Carolina?’”

What seemed like an innocuous question was a trap set by Agent Samson. In order to evaluate the lisp, Samson got David to say a word with an “s” sound, as he answered “State.” This answer precipitated a chain of events that would test his individualism and his ability to adapt to challenging situations.

“I had no interest in football or basketball but had learned it was best to pretend otherwise.”

David’s role as the outsider is established here for the first time as he admits that he didn’t care for sports. Sedaris notes that people in this area of the South (Raleigh, North Carolina) were expected to follow collegiate athletics. David wasn’t interested in sports but learned that it was wise to pretend that he was. In addition, this passage begins his journey of conformity and hiding his identity.