“Maybe Dad would be so proud he’d forget all about how tired he was from the long drive back and forth to Washington and the digging and hauling all day. He would get right down on the floor and wrestle, the way they used to. Old Dad would be surprised at home strong he’d gotten in the past couple of years.”

Jess has deep motivations for practicing running every morning. He does not just want to beat Gary Fulcher—he wants his father to be proud of him and connect with him. Jess thinks that excelling at a masculine activity like running will get his father’s attention. This also illustrates how low-income families often experience relational strain. Jess’s father does not want to neglect him, but his strenuous work means he has little energy to spend time with Jess.

“In the room he shared with the little ones, he dug under his mattress and pulled out his pad and pencils. Then, stomach down on the bed, he began to draw. Jess drew the way some people drink whisky. The peace would start at the top of his muddled brain and seep down through his tired and tensed-up body. Lord, he loved to draw.”

Jess has deep motivations for practicing running every morning. He does not just want to beat Gary Fulcher—he wants his father to be proud of him and connect with him. Jess thinks that excelling at a masculine activity like running will get his father’s attention. This also illustrates how low-income families often experience relational strain. Jess’s father does not want to neglect him, but his strenuous work means he has little energy to spend time with Jess.

“He would like to show his drawings to his dad, but he didn’t dare. When he was in first grade, he had told his dad that he wanted to be an artist when he grew up. He’d thought his dad would be pleased. He wasn’t. ‘What are they teaching in that damn school?’ he had asked. ‘Bunch of old ladies turning my only son into some kind of a—’ he had stopped on the word, but Jess had gotten the message.”

Children internalize their parents’ actions and words more than adults realize. Jess’s father probably did not mean to hurt Jess, but his comment shamed Jess and caused him to hide a part of himself. To fulfill his father’s expectations, Jess must either give up drawing, prove his masculinity, or live with loneliness and distance.