To desire connection is a part of the human experience. Belonging is an “irreducible need” for all people since humans are social beings. Brown believes that belonging is the opposite of fitting in or “hustling for approval” (158) when we conform to the appearance or behaviors of a group. She says that “true belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are” (158).

Brown defines belonging as “a practice that requires us to be vulnerable […] and learn to be present with people without sacrificing who we are” (159). The pain of feeling that we do not belong (at work, with friends, with family, etc.,) or having “belonging uncertainty” (165) has an impact on our lives. We can experience deep pain when we feel we don’t belong in small or larger contexts. Brown shares the story of her organization’s postgraduate social work fellow Paola Sánchez Valdez, who shares the deep belonging uncertainty she experienced being “undocumented” (166). This is why Brown believes belonging is a “critical component of diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) work” (168).

Next, Brown explores connection, which is “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued” (169).